i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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