talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
