Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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