Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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