Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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