Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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