I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
