How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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