just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
