You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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