Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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