so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize