i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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