This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
