my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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