Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
