i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
