Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
