just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
