i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
