How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
