i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
