I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
