My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
