He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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