So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize