Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He has the fingertips of a God
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