just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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