My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
