I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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