I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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