You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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