Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
