I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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