I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't deserve a penis
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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