Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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