Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We had to coat check the pizza.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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