How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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