nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
