It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
