This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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