What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
