PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize