Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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