Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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