Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
