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U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
