He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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