Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
