I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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