I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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