I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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