I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
