I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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