Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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