I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
