how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
