Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
