Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
