Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
