my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
