We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize