did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
