I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
worst night to have a conscience
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
