Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize