so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
