i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
