Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
