Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
