i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
