you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
